Seeking Greener Pastures (part 1): The waka

Seeking Greener Pastures: The waka (part 1)

Abeg, no be say dem say. The abroad make maximum sense. One week don waka, PHCN (NEPA) never take light, weather just dey clean my body like say I be sea animal. I still pin down for my guy house. Just to dey clear, wen I say my guy house, na just one room. To rent full house for here no be childs play. My guy (Rahman) just dey feed me scatter, I dey use liquid milk drink cereal anyhow, I no mix am with water ooo. Just pour the thing anyhow, cereal wen people dey use form fresh for naija, na normal levels for here. Choiii, poverty na bastard. 

Rahman dey work for one hotel and na part time student. The guy dey hustle die. Anytime him go work, he go pack enough food from hotel come house. All this while, I never fit enter street becos I never get the necessary documents to take hustle. And Germo people no dey play with paper work, dem obey law pass the 12 disciples. 

As I dey wait my paper to take enter street, I don start my masters program (the levels wen I use escape naija). To go school every day, man need bus ticket. And as student, we suppose buy semester ticket. Semester ticket cost 197 euros, wen I press calculator, that na 100k for naira. The ticket go last for 6 months and e cover everywhere for Munich, but I been no get that kind money to use buy ticket. I need reason how to manipulate the system, as naija boy, my brain sharply pick. Oyinbo no sabi tell the difference between black man. So, I begin use my guy second ticket. For here, when u buy ticket, dem go give u second ticket, just in case u loss the original one. Although, dem no dey check ticket regularly for train/bus/tram. But, d day dem check and u no get, na 60 euro fine immediately. 

Weeks don pass, I still dey use Rahman back up ticket. Na so this unfaithful day, the man wen dey check ticket for train decide say e wan over do him work. The guy check my ticket, cross check am with my student ID, hot shit and piss begin catch me, as I know wetin e dey find. For your ticket, dem dey write your matric number, so him dey check if the matric number match school ID and semester ticket. E don be for me today, 60 euros fine (30k naira). The man begin speak German, I begin form not understanding. Cold dey blow, but shit and piss wan finish me. Na so d girl for my side begin form interpreter, APROKO, who send u work now. I start to form confuse, I tell d girl say I mistakenly carry my roommate ticket as I dey rush comot house. Aproko interpret to the man wen dey check ticket. The guy stand look me for 30 seconds, give me the ticket and school ID back, e no give me fine. Aproko tell me say I get luck, say this people no dey here excuse. For Germany, ignorance is not an excuse. 

I quickly learn say for Germany, dem no dey do abeg. If dem go help u, dem go help u. But I still no buy semester ticket sha, cos e remain two months for semester to end. I constantly took d risk, until d day wen 3 weeks before semester go end. My soap wen I dey use wash head finish, dem catch me, knack me 60 euros fine. Wetin pain me pass na say, I dey just one more stop to my house before dem catch me. I pay my fine, borrow brain buy ticket for the remaining two weeks before semester end. I no go lie, even though d money pain me, but that two weeks wen I get ticket, my mind rest die anytime I enter train/bus. Nothing sweet pass rest of mind my people.   

Tags: Nigerian in Germany; pidgin; Naija living in Germany; pidgin blog; schooling in Germany; German waka