Seeking Greener Pastures (5):The Hustle Begins

New year, fresh expectations, plenty resolutions but same old gbese from last year. The German waka involve enough borrowing, and as expected, peole for Naija dey bell me steady for dier bar. The first good news for 2017 na say foreign office don finally knack me jersey number to enter street, all documents signed and sealed. I don become licenced hustler for Deutchland (Germany). 

As expected, I begin find job every angle, na that time u go know say German language important. Some people no go even follow u buzz cos u no sabi speak German. So I begin find jobs when no need German language, even that one sef hard to see, no be say e really hard to find. When u be jjc and your guys sef na jjc like u, information go dey very limited. So I been dey operate based on the info wen my guys get. All them dey signed up to one agency popularly known as Karo (Karolina). Karo na d name of the woman wen dey run d agency. She dey sign people to go work for different hotels and companies. When I say hotel and companies, I no mean say we dey do office work. Na serious plate washing business, some men hold record for plate washing. Some boys get steady jersey for some centers, if dem dey give u Allianz Arena (Bayern Munich Stadium) that means u na professional plate washers, although say d plate washing na with machine. But, imagine say person dey wash plate for 10 hours straight. And that 10 hours plate washing no enter 100 euros. So if u see some people dey pose for social media say dem go watch football match, tell dem make dem snap their complete outfit and other people for the stadium with them. As I dey talk sha, even the almighty Karo talk say space no dey for me to join the plate washing hustle. I enter Mcdonald, Burger King, Kfc, all of dem bench me. 

Las las, I come see delivery job with bicycle, this wan na uber of food delivery. See as I dey happy like idiot on top this job. I enter d office, dem knack me my complete kit, show me how d app dey work. As my gbese dey wait me for Naija, I sharply enter street to hustle. My broda, anybody wen tell u say e easy, na set up oooo. When I ride bicycle for one week (5 hours a day) my body tell me. One day I snap picture, if u see as my neck dry like Osterich own ehnnn, choiiii, I pity myself. But wetin man go do, gbese and bills dey to pay. On one of d days wen I go work, if u see d snow when dey fall ehnnn, na dt time all this wicked people come dey order plenty food. I ride go deliver for one far place, climb stairs up to the 6^thfloor, form smiling so levels go drop. This customer look me tell me Dankeschön (Thank you very much), not even 50 cent for tips. Snow don beat me, body don wet like chicken and shi shi she no dey drop, d way I take give her 0 star for rating, writing long epistle against the woman, u go think say we don get problem before. And just make una know, tipping na normal for this zones. That month wen coins hit my account, I pay rent, pay health insurance, pay gbese, tidy food and one or two levels, coins don finish. Money no reach, man need add extra hustle. Na so almighty Karo knack me call up, give me jersey for d plate washing business. And guess what, my first assignment, almighty Allianz Arena. 10 hours marathon of plate washing. I kack up on match day, reach stadium, enter the kitchen. Oboy! Kitchen dey like stadium, na only Africans/india/Pakistan people dey d kitchen, see men wen be elder for east (igbo land Nigeria) dey wash plate like say na PhD thesis. As I enter, d supervisor knack me shower cap to cover hair, give me safety boot wen heavy pass Julius berger construction boot. I no dey exaggerate, I wash plate for complete 10 hours with only 30 mins break, d plate no dey finish. Na so d igbo elder state man say make I knack am video as e dey wash d plate, I ask am y u want this kind video? Him reply make me laugh scatter, he say anytime e send money to him wife for Naija and she say only 100 euros, e go send her that video make she see as e dey hustle. 

My People, if pesin send u coins from d abroad, appreciate am die, cos d hustle no be here. Las las all of us go dey alright.